On the Road with some Random Guy

We were dancing on the freeway; cars zooming by, we dared them to hit us, full on impact but they swerved like the chicken shits they were.

We were in Ohio, outside some town, the sign read 'Hollow Oak - Home of Buzz Aldrin or Jimmy Crackcorn or something' all towns out here had to have signs telling you who famous was born there and if they didn't have any one famous from there, they had to add the last time their high school won something.

In Indiana, one town had their sign - GOPHERS WINNER OF THE NATIONAL CHOIR SOCIETY CHAMPIONSHIP 1976.

There in Hollow Oak they had a museum for their home town hero; the house he was born and raised in with a sign in the front yard that read: SO AND SO MUSEUM AND GIFT SHOP - ADMISSION $5.00 A PERSON.

Marcos gave the guy a wooden nickel and said it was worth ten bucks and we entered with glee.

"Green shag carpeting just as it was left in 1978 when so and so ran away from this one horse town!!" the tour guide said pointing down at our feet.

All I saw was a lake of blood and demon fish.  "Did he know how to swim?" I asked but the tour guide kept moving forward.

"Here in the kitchen....."

Twenty minutes later we were done; beating up the ticket guy to get our wooden nickel back.

"I didn't say it was going to be a good tour!"

In Cincinnati, home of the fighting Butt Pirates (we missed the sign) we stopped in for the Ohio State Dish - monkey brains and donkey testicles; a treat you can sink your teeth into and go, EWW!!

Marcos remembered his childhood as he ate his.  I remembered my prom date and wondered if Virgil was still alive and well.

We left a good tip; half a wooden nickel and a quart of vomit.

I had forgotten what monkey brains does to me.

We ventured on down the high way.