WHO IS RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR 2018 --- THE GREAT STATE OF IDAHO!
Another night in the lovely paradise that is my mind; and decided, "Why not write another election piece; midterms baby, 2018!!"
Tonight's adventures, ventures, I don't know, brings us to the state that brings us potatoes and women in garter belts; IDAHO!!!
Oh Idaho, you wonderful state, the state whose song is OH IDAHO, THERE YOU ARE, AND HERE'S YOUR SONG!!!
This election time (November 6th, 2018) we have running for governor of this great state, two people --- a dirty dish towel and some guy named Frank.
I kid of course, they are both dirty dish towels!
The current governor, Butch Otter, is serving three terms and has decided to say "Fuck this shit!" and wander away for some fly fishing.
There are two candidates running ----- >
Lt. Governor Brad Little, Republican
Paulette Jordon, former state representative and full time belly dancer, Democrat (We kid on the part she's a belly dancer. She does love to dance!!!)
BRAD LITTLE
REPUBLICAN
MOTTO: "We wear cowboy hats so the sun doesn't cook our brains!"
About Brad:
Brad was born Tilly Anne Stover of Walla Walla, Washington in 1872 or maybe we're confusing him with a vampire we read about.
We're not sure.
Brad fell into politics accidentally.
"I wanted to be a race car driver!" Brad told us from his secret underground lair all people in Idaho have (all 12 of them!! Don't believe me? Go Google!! I know, doesn't Idaho sound wonderful??")
Brad's father led him to find the values of his ancestors.
"Killing people is fun!! Hiding the bodies is not so much fun!!!"
After graduating college with a degree in underwater basket weaving, Brad was offered a job at the local strip club (Manny's place where the food is cold and the beer is warm and the women, well, they might have all their teeth!!!) but he decided to go back to his family's ranch where he discovered artificially inseminating bulls is a dangerous job.
"I got kicked in the face a lot!!"
Brad met his wife, whose name we don't feel like looking back up, and they were married in ceremony on the planet Venus.
"It was a beautiful ceremony!"
And soon Brad found himself wondering, "What can I do for Idaho now?"
He became a leader of the Sheep Shearers' Union and went on to do bigger and better things.
"Like sky diving!!"
To read more about Brad's life, you can go here ---- https://www.bradlittleforidaho.com/meet-brad-little/ or do like we do, and just wait for the movie starring Brad Pitt!!
WHY BRAD?
Why Brad? We say WHY NOT BRAD!?
Why Brad? We say WHY NOT BRAD!?
Brad is a ho, a true ho, he runs through the streets every night from 3 am till 9 am screaming I-DA-HO!!!!
His wife gets mad and tries to get him to come home.
"I'm cold!!' he says shivering and trying to get into bed.
Brad on the issues:
"I like cheese!" Brad says as we sit at a table at Margie's Bar and Grill in Boise. "I think it all began when I was a child and just exploded after that!"
We kid.
Kinda.
We're not allowed into Boise but Idaho Falls likes us.
Brad is for education.
We guess.
We don't feel like clicking any more links but if you truly want to read his likes and stuff, you can go here ---- https://www.bradlittleforidaho.com/meet-brad-little/
PAULETTE JORDAN
DEMOCRAT
ABOUT PAULETTE:
Paulette was born in the year of our lord of 1979, December. She grew up on a farm in Northern Idaho, which means she was a typical kid from Idaho, growing potatoes and smothering small children during her family's yearly summer vacations to Spokane, Washington.
Paulette went to the University of Washington where she learned a love for politics, student rage against the system and her love for interpretative dance.
"I scored a 82 on the judges' cards for Dancing with the Stars!!"
She soon graduated and decided that dance could wait and went into politics right off the bat.
Or maybe she went to serve on some gaming board for the Indians. We're never sure.
Someday we hope to learn how to read.
MORE ABOUT PAULETTE CAN BE FOUND HERE --- https://www.jordanforgovernor.com/about-paulette/
WHY PAULETTE:
If we could vote in Idaho, we'd vote for Paulette.
Why?
Cause we could.
Probably her eyes.
Or her horse.
We like horses.
Plus we think we've falling in lust with her.
Yes Brad is cute too.
God, we're so confused!!!
MORE ON PAULETTE'S STAND ON ISSUES HERE ---- https://www.jordanforgovernor.com/priorities/
WHO WILL WIN??
The potato!!!
The potato always win!!!
Good night and have a better tomorrow!!!
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