LIVE FOR TODAY - Another letter to a friend

12-31-2018

To my dear friend,

 Live for today, dream sweetly for the future, let go of the past for you cannot change those things; forgive yourself for those actions, so you may move forward into a better life.

If I could, I would take all your pain away and throw it away into the cosmos, to replace those pains with a healing pace.

I tell you how much I love you, that I care about you, but that pain keeps the words away, the pain tells you that you are worthless but you are worth more to me than all the gold in the world.

I am here for you, if you need to reach out for something to grab, do not fall into that dark pit of despair, depression.

To go down that road of life, you need to forgive yourself for your past, which, if you do not, will drag you to the side of the road where the quicksand lie, to grab you and pull you down into the mire and darkness, to take your life away.

Sit for awhile here with me, look up into the heavens, see the beauty of it all, believe in yourself, find your self worth again.

I do not want to lose you to that darkness, I want nothing but happiness for you, in your life, to feel nothing but joy, glee.

Dream sweetly, to feel joy, as you travel down that road, just know that if you need me, I am here to try and pick you up if you fall.

Good night, sweet dreams, my Sunshine....

Sex, sex and more sex! A blog about sex? No WAY!!!!

Sex sells, everybody is either thinking about or a lucky few are doing it, or thinking about it while doing it.'

I guess I'm not thinking about it or doing it, I'm sitting here at almost 11 pm, listening to YouTube videos, some of them are about sex, which I guess could be construed as a blog about sex.

So there you go, SEX SELLS!!! Hi!!

Anyways, I just felt like writing, typing something and hitting publishing!!! Hope all of you are doing well.

A Random Trip inside my mind!

The words slipped out, onto the page, it was a cold night, dark, the wind howling.

I was some other age, young, still innocent, if there was such a thing.

What if this "Reality" wasn't real, just part of some messed up fantasy of a blind deaf girl hitting random buttons on a keyboard connected to the server controlling our "Matrix", our quote on quote reality?

What if death was just her deleting us out by accident?

These are the things that keep me awake at night.

That and 12 pots of hot, black coffee, two scoops of sugar, to destroy my blood.

The words continue to spew out, in some form of random mindless wonders, some day, I will have to make some new friends, ones who haven't heard my same jokes about 1980s sitcoms and Ronald Reagan jokes.

"Tell us about the time you killed a whole room full of Nazi vampires in 1922!!"

It was a cold dark night...

On the Road with some Random Guy

We were dancing on the freeway; cars zooming by, we dared them to hit us, full on impact but they swerved like the chicken shits they were.

We were in Ohio, outside some town, the sign read 'Hollow Oak - Home of Buzz Aldrin or Jimmy Crackcorn or something' all towns out here had to have signs telling you who famous was born there and if they didn't have any one famous from there, they had to add the last time their high school won something.

In Indiana, one town had their sign - GOPHERS WINNER OF THE NATIONAL CHOIR SOCIETY CHAMPIONSHIP 1976.

There in Hollow Oak they had a museum for their home town hero; the house he was born and raised in with a sign in the front yard that read: SO AND SO MUSEUM AND GIFT SHOP - ADMISSION $5.00 A PERSON.

Marcos gave the guy a wooden nickel and said it was worth ten bucks and we entered with glee.

"Green shag carpeting just as it was left in 1978 when so and so ran away from this one horse town!!" the tour guide said pointing down at our feet.

All I saw was a lake of blood and demon fish.  "Did he know how to swim?" I asked but the tour guide kept moving forward.

"Here in the kitchen....."

Twenty minutes later we were done; beating up the ticket guy to get our wooden nickel back.

"I didn't say it was going to be a good tour!"

In Cincinnati, home of the fighting Butt Pirates (we missed the sign) we stopped in for the Ohio State Dish - monkey brains and donkey testicles; a treat you can sink your teeth into and go, EWW!!

Marcos remembered his childhood as he ate his.  I remembered my prom date and wondered if Virgil was still alive and well.

We left a good tip; half a wooden nickel and a quart of vomit.

I had forgotten what monkey brains does to me.

We ventured on down the high way.

WORLD WAR THREE --- BY ERROR THROUGH COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY!

June 3rd, 1980 --- About 2:30 AM ---

Computers at the National Military Command Center, beneath the Pentagon, at the headquarters of the North American Air Defense Command (norad), deep within Cheyenne Mountain, Colorado, and at Site R, the Pentagon’s alternate command post center hidden inside Raven Rock Mountain, Pennsylvania, issue an urgent warning ----

THE FRUCKING SOVIET UNION HAS LAUNCHED A NUCLEAR ATTACK AGAINST THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!!

Those damn commies had recently invaded Afghanistan so tensions were the highest they had been since the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Ballistic Missile Crews removed "The Keys" from their safes.  

Bomber plane pilots ran to their assigned planes.

Attack planes were launched to search the skies.

It was like a movie, the FAA was ready to pull all flights from the air, to order them to land wherever they could.

Zbigniew Brzezinski, President Jimmy Carter's national-security adviser, was asleep in Washington DC, when the phone call came through.

"Them dirty commies have launched nukes at us!!!" someone screamed as he answered the phone. "Computer shows thousands on their way to kill us all in a beautiful but deadly fire balls, hotter than the mother fucking sun!!"

(Disclaimer -- Conversation recreated from a fictional account as giving by a mouse sitting in the corner on the night in question)

Brzezinski told his military aide, General William Odom, who was on the phone to get confirmation of the attack.

A retaliatory attack would need to be ordered and quickly.

Washington DC would soon be a burning ruin; a shit ball to its former shit ball status but on fire.

A real buzz kill.

Brzezinski did not wake up his wife; hoping that if the attack was true, she would die peacefully in her sleep, and also she was a real bear when awaken.

"No need to add more shit to the storm!"

As he prepared to call Carter and recommend an American counterattack, the phone rang for a third time. 

Odom apologized—it was a false alarm. 

An investigation later found that a defective computer chip in a communications device at norad headquarters had generated the erroneous warning.

The chip cost forty-six cents.

46 cents defective computer chip almost caused the end of the world.

This wasn't the first time an error had occurred.

A similar false alarm had occurred the previous year, when someone mistakenly inserted a training tape, featuring a highly realistic simulation of an all-out Soviet attack, into one of NORAD’s computers.

During the Cold War, false alarms were also triggered by the moon rising over Norway, the launch of a weather rocket from Norway, a solar storm, sunlight reflecting off high-altitude clouds, and a faulty A.T. & T. telephone switch in Black Forest, Colorado.

So basically, we've been on the "Eve of Destruction" on errors quite a few times; mostly unreported except through the fictionalization of events in movies.

Along with folks trying to flex their muscles in some leader orgasmic ritual, we are living in scary times; one false flick of a mouse or the ego of some world leader with a nuke, and goodbye Norma Jean and hello Fiery  end of the world as we know it.

So kids, if you're programming a virus to simulate a nuclear attack by a rogue nation, please don't, nations are on high tensions!!

They'll go off with one stroke!

WHO IS RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR 2018 --- THE GREAT STATE OF IDAHO!

WHO IS RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR 2018 --- THE GREAT STATE OF IDAHO!

Another night in the lovely paradise that is my mind; and decided, "Why not write another election piece; midterms baby, 2018!!"

Tonight's adventures, ventures, I don't know, brings us to the state that brings us potatoes and women in garter belts; IDAHO!!!

Oh Idaho, you wonderful state, the state whose song is OH IDAHO, THERE YOU ARE, AND HERE'S YOUR SONG!!! 

This election time (November 6th, 2018) we have running for governor of this great state, two people --- a dirty dish towel and some guy named Frank.

I kid of course, they are both dirty dish towels!

The current governor, Butch Otter, is serving three terms and has decided to say "Fuck this shit!" and wander away for some fly fishing.

There are two candidates running ----- >

Lt. Governor Brad Little, Republican

Paulette Jordon, former state representative and full time belly dancer, Democrat (We kid on the part she's a belly dancer. She does love to dance!!!)

BRAD LITTLE

REPUBLICAN

WEBSITE:http://www.bradlittleforidaho.com/

MOTTO: "We wear cowboy hats so the sun doesn't cook our brains!"

About Brad:

Brad was born Tilly Anne Stover of Walla Walla, Washington in 1872 or maybe we're confusing him with a vampire we read about.

We're not sure.

Brad fell into politics accidentally.

"I wanted to be a race car driver!" Brad told us from his secret underground lair all people in Idaho have (all 12 of them!! Don't believe me? Go Google!! I know, doesn't Idaho sound wonderful??")

Brad's father led him to find the values of his ancestors.

"Killing people is fun!! Hiding the bodies is not so much fun!!!"

After graduating college with a degree in underwater basket weaving, Brad was offered a job at the local strip club (Manny's place where the food is cold and the beer is warm and the women, well, they might have all their teeth!!!) but he decided to go back to his family's ranch where he discovered artificially inseminating bulls is a dangerous job.

"I got kicked in the face a lot!!"

Brad met his wife, whose name we don't feel like looking back up, and they were married in ceremony on the planet Venus.

"It was a beautiful ceremony!"

And soon Brad found himself wondering, "What can I do for Idaho now?"

He became a leader of the Sheep Shearers' Union and went on to do bigger and better things.

"Like sky diving!!"

To read more about Brad's life, you can go here ---- https://www.bradlittleforidaho.com/meet-brad-little/ or do like we do, and just wait for the movie starring Brad Pitt!!

WHY BRAD?

Why Brad? We say WHY NOT BRAD!?  

Brad is a ho, a true ho, he runs through the streets every night from 3 am till 9 am screaming I-DA-HO!!!!

His wife gets mad and tries to get him to come home.

"I'm cold!!' he says shivering and trying to get into bed.

Brad on the issues:

"I like cheese!" Brad says as we sit at a table at Margie's Bar and Grill in Boise.  "I think it all began when I was a child and just exploded after that!"

We kid.

Kinda.

We're not allowed into Boise but Idaho Falls likes us.

Brad is for education.

We guess.

We don't feel like clicking any more links but if you truly want to read his likes and stuff, you can go here ---- https://www.bradlittleforidaho.com/meet-brad-little/

PAULETTE JORDAN

DEMOCRAT

WEBSITE:https://www.jordanforgovernor.com/

ABOUT PAULETTE:

Paulette was born in the year of our lord of 1979, December.  She grew up on a farm in Northern Idaho, which means she was a typical kid from Idaho, growing potatoes and smothering small children during her family's yearly summer vacations to Spokane, Washington.

Paulette went to the University of Washington where she learned a love for politics, student rage against the system and her love for interpretative dance.

"I scored a 82 on the judges' cards for Dancing with the Stars!!"

She soon graduated and decided that dance could wait and went into politics right off the bat.

Or maybe she went to serve on some gaming board for the Indians. We're never sure.

Someday we hope to learn how to read.

MORE ABOUT PAULETTE CAN BE FOUND HERE --- https://www.jordanforgovernor.com/about-paulette/ 

WHY PAULETTE:

If we could vote in Idaho, we'd vote for Paulette.

Why?

Cause we could.

Probably her eyes.

Or her horse.

We like horses.

Plus we think we've falling in lust with her.

Yes Brad is cute too.

God, we're so confused!!!

MORE ON PAULETTE'S STAND ON ISSUES HERE ---- https://www.jordanforgovernor.com/priorities/

WHO WILL WIN??

The potato!!!

The potato always win!!!

Good night and have a better tomorrow!!!

WHO'S RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR 2018 --- The Great State of Tennessee!!

WHO'S RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR IN 2018?

A Random Blog Production

The Great State of Tennessee

(As seen by a nobody)

General Election set for November 6th, 2018

The year is 2018, another midterm election, senators, congressmen, women throwing their babies down wells, etc. etc.

It's a great year to be dead.

Politicians are out trying to GET OUT THE VOTE and sending out millions of emails asking for donations, votes, and hand jobs.

I usually ignore the email pleas but today I opened one up for a plea from someone trying to become governor of Tennessee.  

I don't live in the state but that's okay, I also got one for Kansas and was like, SWEET!! SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT!!!

So today, I will be looking into the run for governor of the Great State of Tennessee (to you folks outside of the United States, this will be a look into the election process of the U.S. which mostly involves a turkey and two cans of lard!)

First off, WHO DA HELL ARE RUNNING FOR THE GOVERNOR OF THE GREAT STATE OF TENNESSEE??? (Most of the source is from Ballotpedia.org or Googling random terms like turkey tucker)

On the Republican side, denoted as (R) in your guide, it's Bill Lee also known as "Bill!!" throughout the bar scene of Tennessee (just kidding, most people just point and laugh at him)

Bill has been endorsed by the current President of the United States; a semen soaked beach towel.

Book makers are giving odds that basically say Bill Lee will be the next governor as Tennessee love the R and despises the D.

There are about 10,000 independents (or I) running in this election.

On the Democratic side, denoted as (D) in your guide, it's Karl Dean also known as "Frank Malone" throughout the gay massage parlors of Tennessee (there's 2!! Go Google!! Then try to explain to your wife why you're looking for gay massage parlors in Tennessee!! I'll wait!!!)

Karl has been endorsed by, well, apparently maybe his mom.  

We might endorse him unless one of the 10,000 independents looks better than we'll say VOTE FOR THAT GUY!!!!

SOME MORE IN-DEPTH REVIEWS ON THE CANDIDATES

BILL LEE

Republican

Website - https://www.billlee.com (So if he loses, he can still have a website to show off his art work!!)

"I want to kill you or be governor!" -- Bill Lee

BIOGRAPHY:  Bill Lee was never born, he just showed up, ready to be governor of the great state of Tennessee.  He is President and Chairman of some company that inseminates bulls, which we find very intriguing. He earned his degree in Underwater Basket Weaving from the University of Cleveland in 1777!  

"That's not true!!" Bill's lawyer screams from the audience.

According to his website at "Bill Lee for Governor of Tennessee", Bill Lee is Tennessee.  Or the State of Maine, whoever votes for him, he'll show up and be governor.

I'm the same way.

WHY BILL?  Bill is running for governor but he's no politician.  He's a cattle farmer. Or a sheep molester or a writer of erotic fiction.  Bill is running because you wouldn't. We asked, you said, go away, you're drunk.  Bill answered our call. Why didn't you? You selfish prick!!!

Bill has experienced tragedy in his life that taught him that life's too short for bad dinner or bad conversations, he's learned that watching old people having sex is sick but kinda erotic in its own right and as he gets older, he forgets where the bathroom is and piddles on the living room carpet, which then, his wife screams at him and his grand kids hang their heads in shame.

As Bill travels around Tennessee he has talked to people, like you, men, women, aliens from the Planet Unpronounceable in any Earth Tongue, Chinese, Vietnamese, down around your knees, and he has discovered that what Tennesseans want is what everyone wants, GOOD MEXICAN FOOD AT LOW PRICES!!!  

Bill goes to church.

So should you!

Sinner!!

KARL LEE

Democrat

Website - https://www.karldean.com/ (Again, smart move, in case he loses, he can still use it to show off his Harry Potter fan fiction!!!)

My name is Karl and I farted!

BIOGRAPHY: Karl was born out of a massive volcanic explosion on Mars and transported to Earth by a ball of fire.  He was the mayor of Nashville for 8 years.  He stole a family, made them pretend they were his (see photo below)

(Note - if Karl or his lawyers find this blog, we sorry but the truth needs to be let out. I do the same thing, kidnap some family, run for governor of some state, pretend like HEY, LOOK, I GOT A WIFE, FOUR HANDSOME KIDS, A DOG NAME TIPPER!! Karl, you should add a dog named Tipper!!!)

Karl also has been a lawyer, a teacher, an Indian chief, and worked as a chef at an Indian restaurant (one of these is not true, if you get it right, you win a prize!! Just kidding, you win squat!!!)

WHY KARL? Karl is running for governor of Tennessee because why the hell not? He's got four beautiful kids (and 2 ugly ones too hideous to be pictured), a loving wife(who we won't name cause she has threaten to kill us if we add her to this blog entry in mocking form that we are known for!!) and he wants what is best for Tennessee, GOOD MEXICAN FOOD AT LOW PRICES!!! 

Don't believe me?

Just ask him!!

Karl thinks school children are our future or food product sources, we really didn't read that closely on his website.

Go Karl!!

Note to reader:  Seriously, there's like 100s of Independents (I stopped counting at 10), so we decided to pick one and let you, the reader, go mock the rest. The list is at ballotpedia.org.

VINNIE VINEYARD

Independent

My name is Vinnie and I wanna funk you up!

Website - http://www.believeinthefunk.com/main.html (Believe in the Funk!!!)

BIOGRAPHY:  You didn't really read this far to find out that Vinnie graduated high school in 1993, went to college to get a degree in animal husbandry or that he was born from the sea floor and raised by Ethel and Martin, two loving parents who taught him that the love of funk was the best kind of love.

No you just wanted to hear him say, I WANNA FUNK YOU UP!!! And bam, there you go!! ~DROPS THE MIC~

Vinnie also is a professional ghost hunter on TV and has played numerous roles on TV (such as murder victim #1 on NYPD Blues!)

WHY VINNIE? Cause he's also a professional wrestler!! BAM!!! ~DROPS THE MIC AGAIN~

There you go!! The race to end all races, to decide who will govern the Great State of Tennessee or drink beer with a moose, we're never too sure in these things.

Good night and have a better tomorrow!!!!

POST MODERN AMERICA IN SEX AND CANDY - Some random ramblings to keep the brain clean

JOURNAL ENTRY - RANDOM FICTIONAL ACCOUNT OF MY LIFE 
STATE: SOBER
DATE - 09/30/2018

We were high, also drinking wine, with seven of the 12 prostitutes from those apostles of the House of Joanne, a dirty little whorehouse outside of Rollins, a city if by definition of 12,000 people, mostly crack heads and two bit car thieves, liars, people who drifted in and out of life, a needle, a pipe, some trash for a bed, and there, in the moment, a blink of an eye, was Jack and his brother John, both high enough to see the sky was not real but a broken computer screen.....and all the people said AMEN!!!!!!

2038 - We couldn't remember when the world began to fall; maybe it was before there was a world, set by the gods, in an age before there was memories.

It could have been 1983 and we were just too high to see the calendar hanging on the wall behind the bartender, John I think was his name, though it could have been Mary.

We ordered two beers.

Joe was with me; good old Joe, his mom left the liquor cabinet unlock when she passed out, that way we didn't have to break the glass to get in.

"Fucker owes me two bucks!" Joe said shooting up and running towards a guy, his fist smashing into the fellow's face, hard and breaking bones.

Both fell, the man to the floor without any notion he was falling, Joe in an attempt to have his fist meet the man's brains, each fist slamming hard into the man's face, over and over, each blow sending blood splattering through the air.

"Mother fucker, better give me my two dollars!!"

The bartender jumped over the bar, not missing a beat, trying to attempt to pull Joe off of the man.

"We don't need this shit man!! Get outta here!"

"I just want my fucking two dollars!!" Joe growled, one last punch, the man gasping through broken teeth, a possible puncture lung.

We left, it wasn't worth the hassle.

To deliver, the masses from the devil, to see, to hear, the blazing of the sun, against a neon sky, to feel that heaven's grace, upon our faces, a techno sound, a dried taste of iron from the blood, in our mouth, in our nose, that grace, that blood, upon the ground.

I dropped Joe off at his sister's place.

She wasn't home.

He was crashing.  Rambling on about white rabbits running into brick walls.

"Jesus man, you need to calm down!!" Anna's, Joe's sister, boyfriend said from the couch, huffing on something from a paper bag. "We got rules in this house!!"

"Fuck you man, I pay for this shit house!!" Joe growled as I dropped him into a nearby recliner. "Fuckers wouldn't have a pot to piss in or paint to huff without me!"

I shrugged and walked out of the house.

I had my own place, a dump abandoned by the city back before The Fall of Civilization, a section of town no longer patrolled by the law enforcement sections.

"It's too expensive for a small payout!" the mayor said from the TV screen the day the city decided to pull out of Black Hole, the section of town deemed too dangerous for the police department. "Wild children, we condemn you to your personal hell, may God have mercy on your soul!"

There was no God down here, even the cops, when they did patrol would roll in with tanks, high powered rifles, in the hope that the murderers and diseased prostitutes didn't eat their flesh after they were dead.

I had a rat's nest pushed into an old apartment building, 3C, with a view of the sewage treatment plant burning in the night.

"In tonight's news...." The TV blared the headlines of today, mayor smiling at some ritzy affair at the better side of town, the rich side, white people who still did the drugs but did them at parties, instead of collapsing society, ritzy rehab clinics with personal Jesus for each person.

I fell asleep, to hopefully dream of better places, to dream....

...And he was delivered from the Madness, to Savior, to a better place, in a green field, to sleep, in peace.....  

HOW I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO MADONNA --- and my life as a homeless person ---- a very random blog!

RANDOM BLOGGER GOES OUT IN THE RAIN

BY

SID D. BLOGGER

September 23rd, 2018 - Louisville, Kentucky

Today I decided to leave the abode and wander the streets looking for an angry fix or maybe cheese.

I found neither but ended up at the laundromat in Little Mexico here.

On the TV, the attendant, a lady of some Spanish descent, had put on the TV Fox News.

For some odd reason, it felt surreal as on the other channel, she had it on the Spanish network on some game show with a Latino heart throb from some Mexican soap opera playing along with some hot lady from the studio audience.

Apparently, she was competing for a big bag of cabbage as that's what was in the bag she picked from a table of about 10 other bags.

On the Fox, they decided to go along with the Prezadent's take on this whole Supreme Court Justice nominee in saying, HE DIDN'T RAPE NOBODY AND EVEN IF HE DID, HE WAS A HIGH SCHOOL KID, DIDN'T WE ALL DO STUPID STUFF WHILE WE WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL?

I did do stupid stuff in high school but none of it all involved rape, not even close to rape, hell, I was so shy back then I couldn't even ask a girl out on a date let alone get denied sex.

To be truthful, I lost my virginity while watching Madonna's Like a Virgin to my left hand.

It was a beautiful moment that will probably kill my chances to ever becoming a Supreme Court Justice but I don't care, it was love, and seriously, who really wants the headaches that come with that job anyways.

So anyways, today I left the house, scared the natives enough that they took off running upon first seeing me heading into the door to Walmart.

Yes, dear reader, I went to Walmart.

The lover and I needed some chicken and onions for a tasty meal she made for us, chicken and onions.

Outside of the Walmart, two women talked to a homeless kid holding a sign.

'Will work for a chance at a better life' read the sign.  Someone had bought him a tent and some apples.

The two women said "You should get a job!" which is what his sign said, they apparently couldn't read.

I have been homeless myself, it ain't fun and games.  I never went the route of holding a sign outside of Walmart but did "Camp" under a tree for a month and a half in my hometown of Butte, Montana.

I did have a job working as a cashier for the local Safeway, just wasn't enough for a roof over my head, but did provide me with beer and chicken and kept my cell phone on.

I hate people who say "Get a job!" especially when you already have a job.  I came close to punching a few people who told me that, not realizing I was also homeless, and when I told them my situation their reply was, YOU DON'T LOOK HOMELESS!

"What does a homeless person look like?" I replied.

Their only answer was to shrug.

Anyone can be homeless at any time.

Yes, there are people out there, "professional homeless" folks for lack of a better word, but they are a very small percentage of the equation and a lot of them you see, begging for change on the streets, actually have homes.

A man here in the Ville, wanders the streets, looking for a place to sleep, to get out of the heat, the rain, whatever season we're in.

He doesn't beg for change.

He just trying to live.

He's a vet.

He served in Vietnam.

People pass by him, looking down at him, this solider, who served his country and now just has hit a bad section in his life.

Some folks, though, regain my love of humanity, as they buy him a sandwich and a bowl of soup.

He thanks them.

And that's it.

Yes, there's programs out there, for the homeless issues - housing, etc. - but the problem is so big the list is a thousand miles along, two year wait if you're lucky.

I was on the list for housing; a year later, after I was gone and out of the homeless scene, I received a letter from the housing authority, YOU STILL ON THE LIST, DO YOU WANT TO STAY ON IT?

I told them no, I had moved and the lady, pleasant for a government worker, said "Congratulations!!"

I thanked her and said I hoped my spot gave someone a roof for their head because being homeless isn't "Camping".

I had a cop stop and talk to me at my site.

Some folks had broken into the main power relay next to my park; I wasn't there that night, as I decided to stay at the local No Tell Holiday Inn, $69 a night!! All the ice I could eat!!

Unlike Pitbull, I didn't have no sexy ladies dancing around my room.

I think that was extra.

She asked me, "Is there anyone else with you at your camp site?"

No, I replied, looking around for this camp site.  Maybe it was further down the road and I missed it.

So anyways, good times in the blog tonight, hope you enjoyed it, and if you didn't, MOM, WHY YOU GOTTA BE SUCH A BITCH?

Good night and have a better tomorrow!

Random Blogger decides to stay indoors - an exciting adventure in time or something - The President's Penis is coming for you

- Random Blogger decides to stay indoors -

By

Random Blogger

September 21st, 2018 - We think the President's Penis has gone rogue!

It such a nice day, I decided to stay indoors, why not!

If I go outside, the nosy neighbors might think something is wrong and call the police.

Stupid restraining orders.

Pee on one (or fifteen hundred) person and bam, you're marked for life.

I'd see what's on the news but last time I did that I was giving the opportunity to hear about the President's penis, something I was hoping I wouldn't have to hear about till after my wedding day.

I know I told you in my last blog I would share my recipe for a delicious rum cake and man, did I ever disappoint you!!

I'd say it'll be the last time I'll do that but we both know, it won't be!

BACARDI RUM CAKE

Ready in 1 hour 24 minutes - serves 10 to 12 (or just say screw it, drink the rum and celebrate the love of life!!!) Nutritional Information: For god sake, it's rum and cake, all you need to know!!!

INGREDIENTS

1cup chopped pecansor 1 cup chopped walnuts

1(520 g) package yellow cake mix (You just use the cake mix as is, do not add other ingredients listed on cake box.)

1(92 g) package vanilla instant pudding mix
4eggs

1⁄2cup cold water

1⁄2cup cooking oil

1⁄2cup dark rum or rum

GLAZE

1⁄2cup butter

1⁄4cup water

1cup sugar

1⁄2cup dark rum or rum

DIRECTIONS

Sprinkle nuts over bottom of greased 10 inch tube pan or 12 cup bundt pan.

Stir together cake mix, pudding mix, eggs, water, oil and rum.

Pour batter over nuts.

Bake at 325 in oven for 1 hour.

Cool 10 minutes in pan.

Invert onto serving plate and prick top.

Glaze-----------------.

Melt butter in saucepan.

Stir in water and sugar.

Boil 5 minutes, stirring constantly.

Remove from heat.

Stir in rum.

Brush glaze evenly over top and sides of cake.

Allow cake to absorb glaze.Repeat until glaze is used up.

So anyways, here we are, another lovely random blog.

You'll notice some pop up ads for penis enlargement, dresses and whatever else your sick butt searched for over at Google or Pornhub.

I decided to make a few pennies on this blog and joined an ad revenue site.

So far, I've made 1 shiny new penny, well on my way to being a Mega-media super star billionaire by day two.

Or 8 million and 83rd day.

Whatever.

The ads are intrusive unless you have an ad blocker then I shall call you a bastard and scorn you in my next blog which will be title THAT LOVELY THING WE CALL A MUSHROOM which you'll know is about you, just by the keyword (lovely and call! Our safe words!!!)

I know Blogspot has the Adsense but I want the big money and AdSense just not doing it.

(Updated after hitting POST - removed the ad pop up as it was spitting CrapWare ads stating Windows was illegal and to call some support number. I hate that stuff so removed it as I don't want my loyal readers (all three of you) to be infected and taken for a ride by the scammers!!! Bad Ad Revenue site!!!!)

I want to buy a bicycle before I'm 72!!

Anything else I should blog about?

Probably but I'll end here till next time......

RANDOM GUY BLOGGING ABOUT RANDOM STUFF - INTRODUCTION

INTRODUCTION TO

RANDOM GUY BLOGGING ABOUT RANDOM STUFF

BY

RANDOM GUY (that's me!!!)

9/20/2018

topic - HI!!!!

Outside, an idiot drives by, honking his horn, cheerfully mocking the start of night.

It's 8:16 pm, a warm night, humid.

Weather man says there's going to be a cool down by this weekend, highs in the 70s, rain, kind of weather to write home about in a blog.

I'm sitting here, in my chair, writing, like I always do.

It keeps my mind going; if I had a mind, which I do.

Well, it's mostly there, there might be some holes in it, years of abuse by randomly staring into the sun, which, if you didn't know, has been proven to destroy your mind bit by bit.

I know, ain't technology wonderful?

So what should I write about? 

An introduction?

Sounds like a plan!

Hello, my name is Steve, though not my real name, it seems fitting, a random blogger's name, a name to stand out from the Tom, Dick and Harrys out there, trying to blog for the masses.

I live in a city named Randomville (Louisville, Kentucky to you normal folks out there) and I work for no one.

Surprised?

So was my wife!

I was born in the back woods of Mars.

Not really but stating I was born in Spokane, Washington on July 16th, 1971 sounds dull and not very random so, I was born on Mars in the Cosmic Year 2893, before the tourists showed up and ruined the planet.

I was once an IT guy, broke computers for the mob, but then, after I was sent away, I decided making balloon animals from condoms and selling them at the state fair was my best option for making money, while also cashiering for a living at a $1.95 an hour.

Big money, I know!

But soon, my feet couldn't take the pounding, so I decided to try to get on disability which is turning into mostly filling out paper work to be denied then wait for a hearing to hopefully get approved or not.

Who knows what will happen there.

So here I sit, writing a random blog.

"What kind of things will you blog about besides random stuff?" someone asks from the audience

I'm not sure.

Maybe about the planet Venus.

Which if you say it too quickly sounds like penis and makes girls blush and boys giggle.

I need to start some research on my next blog entry --- HOW TO MAKE A DELICIOUS RUM CAKE so I'll end this entry with great hope you'll come back for more!!